By Fredrik Sträng
Do you ever react to a headline on social media and start typing a response – without even finishing reading the full text? Do you sometimes pull words out of people’s mouths simply because your patience has run out? We’re all guilty of it. In a world where everything moves at lightning speed – emails, WhatsApp, social media – misunderstandings have become the new normal. But what if we could take a moment and ask ourselves: “What else could this mean?” Shannon L. Alder believes that asking this very question could reduce misunderstandings, improve communication, enhance collaboration, and perhaps even save the planet.
“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, ‘What else could this mean? ” – Shannon L. Alder
The Cuban missile crisis
The world was on the brink of nuclear war. In October 1962, the Soviet Union had placed missiles in Cuba, just 90 miles from the U.S. coast. One critical night, President John F. Kennedy decided to refrain from immediate military action and instead “sleep on it.” As the hours ticked by, he chose diplomacy over war – a decision that led the Soviets to withdraw their missiles. Kennedy’s moment of reflection saved the world from a third world war and demonstrated that sometimes, it is crucial to pause, think, and ask: “What else could this mean?”
When things took time
Have you ever wondered how beautifully people wrote during the Romantic period? In the late 18th and 19th centuries, letters weren’t just messages – they were works of art. Every word was carefully chosen, and every thought deeply considered. Letter-writing was a way to express emotions and philosophy, where each letter was an artistic expression. Since letters often took weeks to deliver, there was no room for quick, careless replies – instead, each letter was given time to flourish.
Why has humanity become more reactive, responding quickly without first thinking things through?
- Digitalization and instant feedback: In the digital world, we’re used to immediate information and fast communication. Social media and news feeds encourage real-time responses, creating a culture where speed is prioritized over reflection.
- Information overload and time scarcity: With a constant flow of information, we become overwhelmed and have less time to process it deeply. This leads to impulsive reactions in order to keep up with the pace.
- Reward systems and social norms: Many platforms encourage quick responses through likes and comments, triggering the brain’s reward system and creating an addiction to immediate feedback.
- Biological factors: The brain is wired to react quickly to threats and important events. In today’s digital world, similar reactions are triggered by conflicts and polarizing topics, making us react before we’ve had a chance to think.
Karl and Snoopy sit on a dock, gazing up at a sea of shimmering stars on a crisp, clear night, marvelling at the endless cosmos.
“We only live once,” sighs Karl.
“Wrong,” says Snoopy, smiling. “We only die once. We live every day.”
As children, we were better at questioning things because much of what we heard was new. As we get older, this changes. We often go on autopilot, and the average person has around 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. A study found that of these thousands of thoughts, 80% are negative, and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before (Source: National Science Foundation). With this in mind, it’s no wonder that we “shortcut” and “fill in” sentences before we’ve read or seen the full picture.
To reduce misunderstandings and become less reactive, here are some simple but powerful strategies:
- Pause before responding: By giving yourself a moment before reacting, you allow time to calm your impulses and reflect on what’s actually been said or done. A short pause can make a big difference in how you interpret and respond to the situation. One tip is to always write your response in a Word document first. That way, the “quick” step of clicking send feels larger, giving you time to moderate your reply.
- Practice self-reflection: Make it a habit to reflect on your reactions. Why did you respond the way you did? What triggered you? Self-awareness is key to reducing reactivity and improving understanding of how you perceive others.
- Use “What else could this mean?” as a tool: If something feels provocative or hard to understand, remind yourself that there could be alternative explanations. Asking yourself this question can open the door to new interpretations and help you avoid reacting based on false assumptions.
So, if you want to get to the heart of things, become more empathetic, and be a better collaborator, ask yourself more often, “What else could this mean?”
Good luck!
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About Fredrik Sträng: Fredrik, in his leadership role, has summited seven of the world’s fourteen 8,000-meter peaks, set a Guinness World Record, and lectures on leadership, communication, decision-making, and crisis management.
Kind regards,
Fredrik Sträng
Climber – Speaker – Coach
